im about as happy as oj after his trial
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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