I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
