I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She has the best kind of daddy issues
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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