is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
