please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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