I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
