needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
