On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
