as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
please come you make the beer taste better
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
