I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
