with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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