If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
