I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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