I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
