So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
