btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
