So drunk, too bad you don't want this
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
