Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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