The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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