Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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