After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
