Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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