I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
