Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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