speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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