Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
someone owes me an orgasm
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Randomize
