Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
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I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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