Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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