ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
