His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
