you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
