Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
