Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
