Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dick very happy bro
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
