i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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