I cannot find my penis.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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