At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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