you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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