To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You need Xanax blowdarts
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
