So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Shame is for Republicans.
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