he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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