I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
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I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
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I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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