smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
