I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
