Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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