Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
