I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
