thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
organizing the empties. That sober.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
