i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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