Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
