matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
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do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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