Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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