I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
