Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
