I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
