he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
