What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
