yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
pray to the hookup gods
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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