So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
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Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize