i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
