I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
