i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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