I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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