Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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