dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
